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Goodbye Mawar

Mawar died 2 days ago.

After surviving the surgery last week, Mawar seemed to be going quite well. She ate the cat food and the medicines I gave without much fuss. She slept soundly beside me every night. It was a relieve. Watching her running around the house chasing her favourite tudung saji really made me happy thinking that she would recover soon enough.

But on Tuesday, at about 6.40pm, I found her lying on the kitchen floor with traces of vomit on her nose and mouth. There were excrements on the floor and on her tail, mostly in liquid form.. She was just lying there, unable to even lift her head when I came to pick her up. It was heartbreaking.

I wrapped her in a towel and drove her to the clinic as fast as I could. There, the doctor gave her some water directly to the abdomen (like an IV drip of some sort). I left her there for the night, hoping that she will get better the next day. The doctor assured me she will try her best and call me for update the next morning. I touched Mawar’s head, and went home.

I did not say goodbye.. I won’t.

The next day, after work, I went straight to the clinic, hoping to see Mawar getting better. The nurse came to me and asked if I got the voice message she sent. I said no.

“Mawar died this morning, sir…”, she said.

I could not remember when was the last time I cried. I was fine when I see Mawar on the table, cold and already hardened. It was sad seeing her like that, but I won’t cry. i’m a grown up man.. But when I put her at the backseat and started driving home, I could not control my feelings anymore. She used to sit on my lap, or climb my back whenever I drive with her. But not anymore. She was just lying lifelessly at the back.. I lost my machoness that day. It rained that evening, so I am sure nobody saw me crying in the car.

I am sorry I could not save you…

May you rest in peace, Mawar.

Goodbye.. (sobs)

Mawar chilling

Mawar found guilty


Mawar being lazy


Mawar getting tangled


Mawar hoping to go play outside


Mawar is actually a spidercat.

Mawar being the big boss

Mawar chilling

Mawar on her first day, 5 months ago. I took her for a bath. She was scared.

Mawar in the car. Driving from Ipoh to Pahang, +400km.

Mawar with Orked (now in Pahang) waiting to break fast during last Ramadan.



Mawar got hurt last week.

On Tuesday, I got back from work but Mawar was not at home. The cat food I prepared outside the house that morning was still there. She did not seem to have eaten much that day. She must have wandered around the neighbourhood by herself, I thought. So I just let her have her cat-time, maybe with her new cat-friends. At about 8.00pm, I went out for dinner and went home at 9.15pm. She was still not back at home yet. I meowed and called for her name, only to find her walking slowly from the other side of the road towards me with a sad face.

Her stomach was strangely ‘kempis’ (tak tau dalam english apa, malas nak gugel), and she was breathing heavily with a swollen chest. I tried feeding her with a pack of whiskas and some water, but she just would not eat or drink at all. The swollen chest made it difficult for her to lay (or lie?) down on her stomach. So that night, she sat beside a wall and lean her head there to sleep. Poor thing..

I thought of taking her to a vet the next day, but I was busy. By the time I got home, the clinics nearby have already closed. (I went to a total of 4 clinics that evening).

So on Thursday morning, with Mawar on my lap I drove to the nearest pet clinic, near Taman Botani. There, the vet advised me to go to Jabatan Veterinar Ipoh, near Aeon Kinta City as she was not able to help since she does not have the proper equipment; specifically an x-ray. So I went straight to Jabatan Veterinar, take my number, waited for a few minutes and met the vet. He hold Mawar by the neck, claimed that she was hit and could have an internal injury, and gave her an injection. He said there’s nothing else I can do except to wait and pray. In 2 weeks time, if she can make it I am lucky, but if she die I must be ready. He said.

Frankly, I do not know whether the man attending Mawar is really a vet or not. He wore a shirt with no nametag. Without further checking anything, he crushed any hope for curing Mawar.

Disappointed, I took Mawar to Ipoh Garden Animal Clinic, which the first vet I went have recommended (besides Jabatan Veterinar). It’s a big clinic, situated at the same row as Bank Simpanan Nasional.


The location for the vet

The doctor attending Mawar checked her condition on a table, then took her to a room to get her x-rayed.


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No wonder she could not eat or drink, or even sleep properly. Her internal organs were out of place! Due to outer force, probably got kicked by someone or hit by a car, the diaphragm between the intestines and the lungs have already ‘koyak’ (koyak dalam english, broke ke?), making the intestines move upwards from the stomach, into the place where the lungs are. So now the intestines are pressing the lungs- the reason why she was breathing heavily. Some of the intestines even moved outside the bones of the chest. Ya Allah..

Absolutely no outer injury, everything was fine. If she was hit by a car, there would be fractures or bruises, but there was none. So the doctor said that she was likely been hit by someone purposedly, probably got kicked straight at the stomach!

She was literally hurt inside. She could not eat or drink because whenever something goes through her intestines, it would further press her chest. She could not sleep while lying on the floor because of that, too.

What should I do?

The doctor gave me 2 choices.

Just let her fight for herself with the help of a few medicines, or do a surgery with a 50-50 survival rate. She could live maybe for a few more months, as long as she eat or drink properly, on a condition that her condition does not worsen. But then again, she would not eat or drink anything since it would hurt her.

I do not have the heart to see Mawar suffer. So I agreed for her to have a surgery. At least she would not have to suffer for a few more months and then eventually die.. At least I am trying..

The surgery was scheduled for today (Sunday, 17th August 2014). So I left her there for a few days to wait for her condition to stabilize and get ready for the surgery.

I have just came back from the clinic, visiting her before the surgery begins this afternoon. She looked better. The swollen chest has gotten a bit smaller, as the misplaced intestines are not as serious as before. Now she can even lie down on the floor as usual. Alhamdulillah.

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 At 1.00pm I left the clinic. The doctor told me that he will call me once the surgery is done. Hope everything goes well!

Read more on Diaghragmatic Hernia here


The doctor called me at 6.20pm. 

Alhamdulillah the surgery went well. Mawar is now ‘warded’ at the clinic, still not awake at that time.

Speedy recovery, Mawar-chan!



Kenapa update blog dengan gambar burung? sebab deep!


Petang tadi ambil gambar bithday di Denai Alam.
Nanti update lagi.



Tutorial melukis doremon dengan serius

Dahi mesti kerut. Lukis dengan serius.

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Penang Bridge #2

Mana boleh tak jakun naik jambatan baru bukak sehari. Bau kilang.
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